Why is that I can’t seem to read a book without a hero and heroine making googly eyes at each other? While I do love my healthy sinnamon romantics, I still groan at romance in books. Like, why? Can we just overthrow the patriarchy without attachments?
Okay, okay, perhaps I’m going a bit too far. But let’s face it, romance and its representation in books tend to be eschewed. Love is always interpreted as raging hormones and sex, rarely do we read of it in its most simple and innocent form. This type of representation is harmful for any reader – adult and teens. Firstly, it erases asexuality. Secondly, it sends a message that a relationship cannot thrive without an entire commitment of body and soul. That we only ever belong to one person.
WHY DO WE NEED MORE PLATONIC LOVE IN BOOKS?
LOVE MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND
It’s true but this does not necessarily mean it should be romantic love! Love is allowed to exist in the smallest gestures. Throughout the course of your life we come across many people who we’ve come to love. A wedding band is just as important as friendship bracelet. That a vow need not be said at the altar to bind two souls.
IT TEACHES US OF A LOVE BEYOND SEX
By understanding this, we soon learn how to nourish and care for another without even having to touch them. It shows that intimacy is not reserved for sex alone.
LOVE IS NOT AN EMOTION
And finally, when we uplift platonic love we show that love is not a constant emotion but are an amalgamation of our intentions, our actions, and our words. Imagine love as a taspestry woven from acts like staying up at night with a depressed friend, buying lunch for your sibling, helping a coworker move. It laughter, humility, generosity, and protectiveness woven into a blanket to keep the two of your warm.
BOOKS WHICH UPLIFT PLATONIC LOVE & FOUND FAMILY
The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams
Ink and Bone by Rachel Caine
Our Bloody Pearl by D.N. Bryn 📚
No Sad Songs by Frank Morelli 📚
How We Learned to Lie by Meredith Miller 📚
Kingdom of the Blazing Phoenix by Julie C. Dao 📚
Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik 📚
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Camillea Reads 
I agree. When I was growing up, there were friendships in books everywhere. Then we got closed off with our privacy fences and air-conditioned houses.
I say, bring back friendships.
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Yes! Thank you for stopping by 🙂
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Such a wonderful post… I always a book more if it has great friendships in it 😊😊
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I haven’t read any of these, but Spinning Silver sounds intriguing. Here is our Top Ten Tuesday
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I love when YA books feature great friendships or family relationships. I think it helps to show teens that romantic relationships are not the be all, end all.
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Did I just read your post and nod my head SO HARD to everything you said about platonic love, and romance in books being TIRING? Yes. Great list. I am literally smiling so widely by you starting with The Velveteen Rabbit. Thanks for sharing.
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Aaaw thank you! I’m so glad my post made you smile ❤
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Great post!
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Thank you!
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YES! We do need more platonic love in books. People have a lot of relationships in their life, and most of them aren’t romantic. Books should reflect that.
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I agree that we need more platonic love in books. I’m such a fan of books that focus on friendships and I feel like I can never find enough of them.
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So true! That, and parent-child relationships too! I would love to read more of that. If you have any recs I’d love that 😁
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Guess I need to hurry up and get to Kingdom of the Burning Phoenix! I need more awesome platonic relationships in my tbr.
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Have you read the first book? I hope you love Kingdom! Such a good read 😀😀
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Not yet! It’s been on my list for far too long now.
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Haha get to it! I’m sure you’ll love it 😀
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I love this post so much, Cam! Found Family is probably my favorite trope and I want more of it in my life!
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Aaaah yes, could you recommend me more found family books??
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Ace of Shades is honestly the only book that comes to mind immediately. I am sure there are more. I will think on it some.
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I agree we need more platonic love in books! I groan at romance too, especially when it’s not really needed in a book or when it’s just thrown in there in the middle of a life threatening scenario 😂
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You should read Hunting and Gathering.. it has one of those qualities too it.. it’s about kinship, the sense of belonging.. there is some love in it too.. but romance is not the central point..
http://www.henatayeb.blogspot.com
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These are some excellent points! I love the book recommendations too!
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Thank you! I hope you enjoy them 🙂
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Me too!
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I couldn’t possibly agree more. I love books and film equally, and I find myself getting irritated at the constant wash of dreckish romantic content increasingly being dropped into my entertainment because they think that’s what people want (maybe most do…I don’t, especially if it’s not necessary to the plot).
My writing emphasizes the love and relationships between ‘found family’ and friends for just that reason. I found it missing from most of the stories available out there, and you know what they say…write the book you want to read.
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I absolutely agree! Love makes the world go round, but it doesn’t have to be “romantic” love. I’m a sucker for M/F friendships in books, and they are so rare.
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I totally agree! I love seeing platonic relationships in books
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I love romance in books, but I can see what you are saying and agree there should prolly be more books without it. I just got done reading Vicious, and while I definately wouldn’t call it uplifting, I loved the relationship dynamics that had nothing to do with romantic love at all!
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I also love reading romance in books but I feel like some are a bit forced for the sake of romance. I’ve heard of Vicious! It sounds like a dark but great read! Thank you for the recommendation 🙂
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Beautiful post, I agree with you wholeheartedly. Friendship is as needed as romances; parent-child, siblings and other relationships that make up ‘love’. I loved Spinning Silk. Will have to give Kingdom of the Blazing Phoenix a look-see. Thanks Cam! ❤️❤️
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Thank you, Dani! I hope you enjoy Kingdom as much as I did 🙂
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This post is THE POST! Absolutely loved reading your thoughts on platonic relationships especially since I agree on each and every point that you mentioned. Always showcasing sexually intimate and attraction in relationships rules out the asexuals and doesn’t give the much needed depth in a character’s relationship. So I definitely agree with the need for more platonic relationships. Great post, Cam! ❤
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Ah, thank you, Fanna. Your comment is very insightful: “Always showcasing sexually intimate and attraction in relationships rules out the asexuals and doesn’t give the much needed depth in a character’s relationship.” This is something, I believe, many publishers and writers need to understand. Love has so many forms that it’s impossible to limit it to just romance!
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I completely agree. There should definitely be more platonic love relationships in books. It seems that everyone thinks that if there is no sex it is not “cool” enough for readers or the public, or whatever. This attitude should be combated. Sweetness and innocence rule, and it does not necessarily mean sentimentality and rolling eyes. As for characters, it is the passion they feel inside which counts that may not necessarily translate to physical contact.
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This is such a lovely and thoughtful comment! Passion and love come in so many forms that it feels almost disrespectful to limit them to just sex. I also dislike how media and books shape love into a grand gesture when that is just not the case!
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