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SEVEN DEADLIEST BOOKWORM SINS (not to be committed when living with a family of bookworms)

While having bookworm friends is great, being blood related to a bunch of bibliophiles is actually….scary. Whether it’s your parents or your siblings or your great great grandmother, when the bibliophile’s blood runs in your veins, best be prepared for every kind of chaos, even the magical kind.

You’d think having bookworms in your family would make everything about bookworming a breeze! Perhaps your parents will understand you better and buy that super duper expensive book because…bibliophile YOLO, eh? Or maybe your brother would understand the bliss of solitude and stop playing music too loud?

Yeah, well, no! Book as we know them are such elegant criminals, so how can we possibly think that they would pass up on an opportunity for a family feud?

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Source: Freepik

Today I’m going to list the SEVEN DEADLIEST SINS you can commit to ensure your family turns into a stinking mess of whingeing bookworms.


BEING IRRESPONSIBLE OVER THE NEWLY BOUGHT BOOK

Because bookworms loooove a good old fashioned swordfight, or for those who are barbarians, we resort to magic duels! Yes, well, fighting for first rights over a book is no simple matter.

 

First, you gotta prove your track record as a bookworm. Will you promise to read it within the hour? Will you promise not to damage the cover?

WILL YOU PROTECT THE BOOK AT THE COST OF YOUR LIFE?

It’s not enough that jealousy springs up when A gets the book but when your “bookworm” sibling takes weeks to finish the book.

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Well, get your umbrellas out, boys! Hell’s about to break lose!

NOT PAYING THEIR PART OF THE SHARE

Like, excuse me, but I didn’t beg my parents for the money just so you can read the book for free! We might share the same blood but not the same books!

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The only advantage my extra years have is being able to get in to the library’s restricted section.

VIOLATING THE AESTHETICS

Ah yes, this has resulted is so many family feuds. The tale of how Aunt V bought the older paperback version, WITHOUT discussing it over, has become a well told tale turned urban legend over the dinner table.

But worse than this is the well heard and scandalous, “Is that my bookish shirt you’re wearing? IS THAT A STAIN?!”

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SLIPPING SPOILERS

If you think, buying a different cover or “borrowing” their merchs without permission is bad? Oh, honey, go ahead and tell them about the time character A died, and don’t forget to mention that character B was the one who did it!

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For reals, though, every bookworm is trained in the art of keeping silence. Sure, we can turn into wallpaper at parties but somehow fail to bite our tongue on crucial information.

Shame on my excitable heart.

LEAVING THE KINDLE DEAD

What kind of a monster are you? Do you forget to eat? I don’t think so. Do you go days without sleeping? I don’t think so.

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Do you want me to steal every cupcake you buy for yourself?

Do you want to be sacrificed in my next Eclipse ritual?

Honey, I have read crime books – real crime books, mind you – don’t test me…charge the Kindle!!! Being a bookworm isn’t for amateurs.

NOT TELLING THEM ABOUT THE BOOK SALE

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“Why would you do that? What? No, I’m not broke! Have you – no, I’m not asking mom for money! I’m an adult.”

Not even five minutes later, you’ll find me borrowing money from my mother promising to pay her back when I’m no longer a bookworm.

Seriously, though, if you don’t tell me about the book sales in advanced, how am I gonna find the stereotypical crazy rich vampire to buy my blood?

It’s a scientific fact that book sales are pretty much the only exercise a bookworm gets all year long! Don’t deny me good health!

NOT GIFTING THEM A BOOK 

What is this? An Apocalypse? Another Renaissance?

Let’s make this clear: no matter what, even if the heavens break open, and zombies fall from the sky; even if books get banned, burned, and turned into marshmallows; even if I’ve read every single book on this planet; even if I’m made a goddess and you’re told not to step in to my holy space

YOU WILL GIFT ME A BOOK ON MY BIRTHDAY AND CHRISTMAS AND EASTER AND ALL SAINT’S DAY.

Do you even know me?

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So if you want to end the year cherished and still remain the family’s favourite then, absolutely under no circumstances, should you commit these sins!

What’s the worst offense you’ve committed against a fellow bookworm? Does your family enjoy reading as well?  Do you and your family read the same genres?

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13 thoughts on “SEVEN DEADLIEST BOOKWORM SINS (not to be committed when living with a family of bookworms)

  1. I’m the only legit bookworm in the family; although my mom’s been getting the hang of it lately.
    The one thing that I did experience once, was loaning one of my NEW books to my mother-in-law. The third installment of a series. I’d read the first two, but eARC’s made it impossible for me to pick up the third one. And since she already read the first two, I just went “well, okay. You read it first.” Like, a NEW book. I got it back with the spine cracked a million times. It looks like a book that’s been read over twenty times without care. That’s what it looks like. I seriously almost cried when she gave it back to me. I didn’t at that time; but as soon as I was outside? Cue the tears and frustration – and I might have worked it all out on my boyfriend because “why can’t your mother freaking take care of my stuff?!”

    Now I’ll be thinking of this all day and I’m seeing her again tomorrow. Oh boy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh man, that sucks! I always get so nervous when lending people books. My worst fears are when my younger cousins come over and they’re all grabbing at one book or another; watching them makes my heart want to explode 😤

      I hope the meeting with your mother in law went well though *hugs*

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  2. I love this post so much! I totally can’t relate because sadly I’m the only one in my family that reads *sigh* it’s a lonely life! But I totally get the violating aesthetics sin! How could someone possibly mix editions in a series! THAT IS A BIG NO NO!!! I even hate having paperbacks mixed with hardcovers in one series, IT HURTS ME INSIDE! Actually, I do have to say I am HORRIBLE at letting spoilers slip like in general with movies, tv, and books. My friends know this about me and refuse to ask about tv or movies because they know I will end up giving the entire movie away, but sometimes I just cant help it!!!

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    1. Hahaha yes! Seeing mixed up covers looks soooo odd on my shelf. One of my series has a different cover and is also way taller than the rest! I usually get my sister to read the book as soon as I’m done so that I won’t have to worry about biting back spoilers. Like, how is it possible to stay quiet when I loved this book so much?!?!?!

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  3. hehe I feel the same about not being gifted books 😉 And spoilers make me so mad- would you believe my sister spoiled the last word of Harry Potter for me?! (well technically she hadn’t read it, but my brother flipped to the end and told her the last sentence and then she told me- it was a weird game of Chinese whispers- and it made me so mad!!)

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